


Each man kills the thing he loves

by Glendaa



Category: Actor RPF, Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Capri pics, I don't know how to tag this, M/M, Post Venice 'The King', So much angst, trying to do their best to survive, “St. James Infirmary Blues” Cab Calloway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 11:08:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20563289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glendaa/pseuds/Glendaa
Summary: Timmy, Armie, Capri.‘Nuff said.(please see notes)





	Each man kills the thing he loves

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MorgannaGrim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorgannaGrim/gifts).

> Written on a whim and dedicated to all the Charmies hurt by the pictures - that are deleting fan accounts and discontinuing fics. I hear your pain!
> 
> I’m too old to be fazed by those photos but… I think love must, and will, continue. Please, do not hurt our boy(s) with hateful comments on social media. We are better than that!
> 
> THIS right here is the place where we can find solace and know that maybe, possibly, this is what happened ;-)
> 
> Many thanks to sweet M. for alerting me about “St. James Infirmary Blues” by Cab Calloway that Armie tweeted the night before the pics and giving me other useful tidbits. Here goes!

_Yet each man kills the thing he loves_

_By each let this be heard,_

_Some do it with a bitter look,_

_Some with a flattering word,_

_The coward does it with a kiss,_

_The brave man with a sword!_

_~ Oscar Wilde (The Ballad of Reading Gaol)_

“We need to talk”.

“I don’t think there’s anything left to say”.

“Why are you reacting like this?”, he huffs, frustrated. “You knew the pics would come out. We had purposely alerted the papps, tagged Naples and Capri on Insta...”

“What do you want?” The baritone voice is tired, brittle.

“And of course I told you beforehand. So that you wouldn’t be upset or something and do something stupid like getting drunk while on Twitter…”

“But of course you had to go and post that fucking song!”

“Let it go, let it go, god bless her

Wherever she may be

She will search this wide world over

But she'll never find another sweet man like me”?!

“Seriously, Armie? The night before?!”

“Armie?”

He’s been talking to no one, he discovers. Armie has turned off the call.

~

It takes him a few tries before Armie answers again.

“Listen, I don’t want to fight. I’m just calling about London. When can we meet?”

The words that follow are hisses from a wounded animal.

“Fuck you, Timmy! You pull that stunt on me and think we’ll meet just because you are at BFI? That’s a lot of nerve-“

“You… You have no right to-”

“Why the paparazzi, Tim? Why such a shitty move?!”

“It’s just exposure… you know how things work”.

“Bullshit, Tim. That’s Elizabeth, not you. And people are noticing, they say you are selling out. I know they are wrong, but they don’t know you, I do! Tell me the truth”.

“You know Lily’s been sad”, he sighs. “She just ended her relationship with-”

“And of course you, being the good friend that you are, are consoling her by sticking your dick in-”

“That’s none of your business”, he yells. “She’s always there for me when I need her. She takes good care of me, way more than I deserve, seeing how little I give her back”.

“Have you seen Venice? Everyone saying me and her were done, nobody caring about her work in the movie. It was all me, me, me. I had to do something for her”.

“Fuck off, Timothée”

“Seriously? You have no right, Armand!”, he spits. “She’s a good friend”.

“With benefits.”

“Yes! Yes, she is. So what? How about you? Still working hard at expanding your perfect family?”

Silence.

“What? Don’t like hearing the truth? And you try and question who I fuck? How dare you-?”

“You know that I’m done with that. It’s Liz that wants another child, to stop speculations once and for all”.

“We didn’t know she was pregnant with Ford back in Crema, so people may think… And I owe her-”

“No. You owe me! It’s me who’s been hiding in the shadows, surviving on the scraps you throw me”.

“It’s me who’s been reading about your fucking new mansion and listening to Elizabeth’s podcast about a third child!”

“Fuck you! You are not Odysseus and I’m not fucking Penelope chastely waiting for you, hoping you find your fucking way back to me”.

This time it’s him that disconnects the call.

\- - - - -

It’s been weeks, when he knocks softly at the door.

Nobody answers, but he knows he is inside. 

“Why are you even here?”, his voice says, after a while.

It comes from down low, so he sits on the floor, leans his forehead on the wood and touches it gently, hoping he’s doing the same from inside.

“I love you”, he whispers.

“And I know you love me too”.

“I hate it when we fight”.

“I’ve become Oliver”, is the answer “and I loathe it. It’s so fucking hard!”

“Remember what you told me months ago? The thing about Bomer? How since he came out, bye bye to big roles, no more lead character, only secondary-”

“Yeah”, he exhales.

“You told me that the time isn’t right, probably won’t be for long. Maybe years. That the world is not ready, that coming out would ruin our careers…”

“I don’t have a career. ‘Ten long years of trying to make Armie Hammer happen’, remember?”, he croaks. “But it would ruin yours”.

“You’d become the twink who ruined a perfectly happy family. Your stardom is just starting…”

“The gossip would hurt your kids", he retorts. "I don’t want them to get hurt”.

“Yes. The custody war would be horrible and also… Well, you might want children of your own someday. Does Lily-”

“Yes, but not now! We are young and that’s not a thought we are even starting to…”

They both close their eyes and swallow - there seems to be no way out.

Minutes pass. Silence is deafening.

“I love you”, he repeats shily. _Please say something._

“I love you too”, he exhales after a while, “but I don’t know if I want to open this door right now”.

“It’s ok”, he answers, hugging his knees. “I’m not going anywhere”.


End file.
